This is my life
by RosesForMyGun
Summary: Poor katniss, it seems like nobody loves her. or do they? Katniss is a 17 year girl living in modern day America. When she was 8 her father was killed and everything went haywire from there. What happens when she meets a certain boy? She thinks she's weak, can he help her out of the mess of her life before it's too late? Let's hope he can before they both lose everything.
1. Chapter 1

You've probably heard all the cases that are happening these days. 'Father accused of murder', 'Mother abuses kids', 'Crazy man with a shotgun shoots a monkey' and, unfortunately, so on but you have never heard a story quite like mine. I must admit that my story is still progressing as I'm only seventeen but it is filled up more than the average person would expect it to be. My name is Katniss Everdeen, and even though I hate my life and how it's going, I still have to live it.

"Look at me Prim, I'm going to go to this job interview and you're going next door, you got it? If mum comes looking for you hide, Mrs Hawthorne knows what to do." I whisper to my younger sister, Prim, as I head out the door. It would be a whole lot easier to leave for this damned interview if she would let go of my legs. but I don't blame the little duck, I'm terrified of mum myself, but she isn't home right now so I need to get her safe before the she-devil came home.

You see I never wanted this life, this pain and the hollowness that comes with the emptiness I feel all the time. Pain for me is always around the corner, some of it is for the loss of my father, who was unsurprisingly murdered by my mother, some of it is for the physical pain of the beatings I endure every day, cruel beatings I take on so my sister won't have to, beatings that have done nothing to deserve. Beatings I've experienced since I was nine. I'm sixteen now.

"But what if she finds me? What if she hits me this time, Katniss? I don't want that, please Katniss stay! Don't leave me!" my sister yells at me, her cries muffled by my shirt. The only thing that ever breaks me is to see Prim crying. I can't help but feel hopeless, like there's nothing I can do to stop the pain _she's _going through. All I can do is hug her as I kneel in the doorway of our old run down house and look at what my life has become. I look at the stained cream walls that used to be white, I look at the old and dirty red woven rug that is currently getting wet by all the rain coming through the doorway, I look at all I have lost and I feel the pain I've felt every day since having to take on the burden of keeping this broken family alive when I was too young.

"She's not going to hurt you; I'll kill her before she hurts you." I tell her standing up and turning away from her. "I need this job Prim; we can't live on game alone. Plus we need clothing, and I'm running out of money for your school and the payment deadline is soon. Also I need to pay for my online classes. I don't want the community home to take you away if they find out about us, so I have to make it looks normal ok? And don't worry I'll be back soon, I'll never let her touch you." And with that I walk way, never looking back, all the way to the subway station.

Let me just tell you that the subway sucks, especially in my part of Chicago. I live the seam and if you live there you just so happen to be either the poorest, dirtiest or creepiest of them all, or a combination of all three. And as I stand in the middle of a 'dirty person party' this one creep just has to make all that more uncomfortable by staring at me as if I'm a T-bone steak. We'll it's that or he's staring at me because of the few bruises I couldn't cover that adorned every inch of my body, granted these were harder to cover since there on my face and I can't afford makeup to cover them. I seriously hate my life.

The ride to downtown Chicago is long and smelly, and when we finally arrive its feels like the smog filled air could never be sweeter. As I walk towards the building that will hopefully be my future workplace. My last job didn't go too well, I worked at that petrol station for two years and I got laid off because they were over staffed. I mean, I worked there for _two years _and I was the one that got fired.

Walking along the street, every one stares. There aren't many people, being downtown as all, but the ones who here stop and stare at me and my bruises and cuts as I walk past. Way to make me feel better! I look at my hand drawn map and see that I've only got a few blocks to go. On the inside I'm jumping for joy about the fact that soon I will be, hopefully, in a nice air conditioned building, escaping the crazy heat. The jeans, t-shirt and hoodie don't help much, but a beaten up girl's gotta do what a beaten up girl's gotta do.

I stop outside the building I'm looking for, watching the people run around through the double glass doors with a feeling of dread. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, trying to get a job at a gym. Haymitch's Hunger Gym and Games, to be exact. Huh, what a weird name. But this was my last option and I need the money so bad, so all I do is hold my head high, trample the feeling of panic I get in large crowds and push open the glass doors to a blissfully cold room.

At first nobody notices the weirdly dressed girl (me) who just walked through the door but as soon as the door closes and a bell chimes, making me jump and being scared shitless- everybody stops and stares. The panic begins to rise again and as I gaze at each and every one of them they slowly drop their gaze and continue on with what they were doing. Ok now that was weird. They obviously don't get many new comers here if that is there usual reaction, because that was just plain creepy.

"Oh, stop staring at her go back to doing what you were doing. You're making her uncomfortable." A girl with the brightest red hair I've ever seen says a she walks towards me. She looks kind enough, I decide. Maybe she'll help me out. "Hi, I'm Annie Cresta. Can I help you?" She smiles at me as if there was no trouble in the whole world. _If only you knew_, I think as I take her offered hand and shake it twice before letting it go.

"Uh, hi I'm Katniss, I saw your ad in the paper about staff and I was wondering if I could talk to someone about it. I…I mean I want to work here." I am a complete idiot, sounding weak and unsure of myself. I'm Katniss, the strong independent women who takes care of a family and makes they don't starve, not a blubbering mess.

"Oh! You'll want to talk Finnick; he's the head of employment." She says, still smiling in her pure way. Actually it's kinda contagious and I start to feel my lips pulling into a smile before I can stop myself.

"Really, shouldn't um…haymitch…be the head of employment? He _is_ the owner right?" Even though I stumble a bit, I'm glad I sound a little stronger.

"Oh yes, he is the owner but he's drunk half the time and asleep the other half. We never see him around here, so we run the place." She shrugs, that stupid persuasively contagious smile still plastered on her face. "I'll just get our employment man. Finnick!" She shouts across the room, making me jump. I look around the room, wondering who this 'Finnick' is, when I see one of the hottest men I've ever seen jump out of the large boxing ring and bound over. He skids to a stop in front of us and smiles a panty melting smile. When all I do is offer a small nod, his smile wavers a bit before restoring to its natural mega-watt status. Well at least I think it's natural, his teeth are so white!

"What's up, hot stuff?" He's to me, making me raise an eyebrow at Annie in question. _Is he serious_, is what it asks. She rolls her eyes as if to say, _tell me about it. _We laugh as he looks on clueless that we are talking with our expression about him.

"This is Katniss, Finnick, and she wants a job here. I was thinking, you know since it's your job to do so, that you could help her out. If that's no problem with you, of course." Ooh, she's a feisty one she is. I look at Finnick to see what he'll do but I'm surprised when I see him lean in and kiss her cheek.

"No problem babes, I'll take care of the hottie." He smiles down at her but she just huffs and walks away as he laughs. "She hates it when I do that." Ah, so he's not her boyfriend. That's a relief since that way he was talking and flirting to me would be seriously bad if he was. "You want some?" He purses his lips and goes to kiss me but I put my hand over his mouth and laugh as he kisses my hand.

"I'm good, but I would really like a job here. I saw our ad in the paper and thought I'd come and check it out." Of course I'm lying, I wasn't coming here just to _check it out_, and I really desperately needed this job. But there was just something about his laughing eyes, the way his hair flopped in his eyes, and his self-assured aura that just made me smile and laugh. It felt good to laugh again, I haven't for so long. He tried to talk but I still had my hand over his mouth so it came more like: mhmnm trmnnk humnmerm. "What?" I asked removing my hand.

"Why would you want to work here?" He looked around pointedly and I followed he's gaze. In my opinion the place didn't look that bad, it was actually really nice. Everything looked clean and new and well kept. The walls, as well as the usual gleaming white you would find, were a refreshing bright green and one wall was made of glass giving way to a Pilates class currently underway.

"Well, this place looks nice and I really need a job. I really need the money." I say looking straight into his eyes. What I see there is kindness and…sympathy? Strange.

"Great, you can start today! We've had that out for weeks and no one else has come in so we are really desperate right now. And I can see how determined you are, that's always a good sign, plus Annie instantly liked you which is good because it took me weeks just to make her laugh." And at that he laughs himself. Seriously does is this guy always happy because I think I may happily run away screaming if he is. I can't handle that right now, maybe not ever but all I do is put on a fake smile.

"I'll get Annie to get you a uniform." It's only then do I realise that he and Annie are wearing the funniest looking uniform I've probably ever seen. It consist of tiny baby blue shorts and (which I guess is for all the females) a shirt that only covers half of her stomach. For the guys it's a bit more covering as the shorts reach halfway down there thighs and the tank top covers there stomach but obviously not their arms. I gulp realising I'll have to wear that. It's not like I have a problem with it, it's just that I'll have to uncover my bruises. I start to panic and my breath comes in shallow gasps as I feel my throat tightening. "Hey, are you ok?" Finnick asks, bending down so he could peer into my eyes and holding my shoulders. I stare into his eyes as tears well up in my own, and what I see there is pitiful. I see my own reflection in his eyes and this make me instantly sober.

"I'm fine." I say as I see Annie approaching with my uniform. Finnick still hasn't let me go so I say again, "I'm fine, ok?" I walk out of his hold and towards Annie grabbing the outstretched uniform and following her pointed finger towards the change rooms. When I finally walk through the door to the female staff change rooms, not so conveniently placed next to the male costumer change rooms, I strip and quickly pull on my uniform. I look into the full length mirror and take a damage report. My arms and legs are completely covered in bruises and cuts and burn marks. The pale of my skin making the deep purple of the bruises stand out. My middle is wear it's wost though. My stomach is purple and covered in red any gashes from last night and previous beatings. My chest has an angry gash diagonally across, going from my collar bone and down under my top. My face only has a few small bruises, my mother never wants people to know she's hurts me like this. She is truly an evil person.

Seeing this makes my knees buckle and I fall to the ground, sobbing for who I've been forced to become, for the loss of my loving father, for the loss of my own life. A life I'll never get back.

I stayed in there for a long time, dreading having to go out there, but I never expected someone to come looking for me.

"Katniss, are you okay." I hear Annie ask. And before I can cover myself, I see her come around the corner with her obviously newly died bright red hair but I also find myself confronted with shiny blonde hair and the deepest blue eyes I've ever seen.


	2. Chapter 2: Hello world

I hear Annie gasp as she catches sight of me, but I can't see her expression because I refuse to look anywhere but the floor. I catch the odd muffled 'oh my god' every few seconds as she stands there staring at me in all of my shame.

"Katniss," Her voice shaking as she asks, "What happened to you?" I can't tell her the truth but, and even though I've only just met her, I know I can't lie to her. And even though I know this I still try.

"I fell." I say as I look up, my arm going to wrap around my waist to try to hide it from her but wincing as I make contact, allowing my arm to fall back to my side. When I look up, I look straight into the deep blue eyes. The owner of the deep blue eyes is enough to take my breath away. Shiny blonde hair, bronze skin, toned chest not hidden by a shirt, strong arms and legs. Making my way up his body I come to rest on his face with its that are eyes the bluest of blues and knowing- although kind- gaze, his cute nose that somehow seems strong too and finally, his luscious and inviting perfect pink lips. And then he smiles at me, another perfection unveiled. With his smile my insides melt and turn to Jell-O. This man is perfect, well except that big vicious bruise that adorns his left cheek.

Reality is quickly coming back as Annie steps forward and reaches for me. I whimper and step backwards, avoiding her touch. But she steps forward again and I step back, and we continue this dance until my back is pressed against the solid metal of the change room lockers. The feeling of panic suffocating me as I look around wildly for an escape but finding none. It felt as though I was going to faint until he spoke.

"Annie stop it, leave her be." He looks at me when he says this, his eyes portraying such sadness that I instantly know he's figured out my secret.

"I'm only trying to help." She huffs as she crosses her arms and blows at the hair that is flopping in her eyes, looking for all she is like an angry teenager. I would laugh if I was so panicked.

"Annie." He says, warning her and I know that by the way her arms drop and how her mouth forms a silent 'oh' that she's figures it out too. "Let me." He slowly walks towards me with his hands up in a sign of peace. I whimper again and press myself into the cold hard metal of the lockers, trying to disappear right through it. I have no idea why I feel so panicky, why I feel so desperate to get away from these people who've done nothing to me. I guess it's because these people now know my terrible secret but instead of facing it, I just want to out run it. And I can't do it because I now have a large man standing in front of me.

"Please." I beg him, not really knowing what I'm asking for but knowing none the less that I have to have it, that I need it.

"Hey, don't worry; I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me. I'm _not_ going to hurt you, I promise. _You can trust me_." He keeps repeating this as he comes closer to me. For some reason I believe him, I trust him. So when he holds out his hand I don't hesitate to take it, no matter how much I was shaking. He slowly pulls me towards him and though at first I hesitate, not feeling sure, I eventually end up in his strong, sure arms.

Being encased by him makes something inside me snap and all of the pent up emotions and unshed tears come spilling out in an explosive a mess, a huge racking sobs, streaming tears and limp body explosive mess. I fall against him and allow him to take all of my weight as he gently guides us towards the ground. I don't even know this beautiful stranger and yet I haven't felt this safe since my father was alive. Being like this is forcing to see the truth, I'm not strong like I thought I was but on the inside I'm still that little nine year old girl that got left behind all those years ago. And I feel this crushing pain in my chest, causing my breathing to speed and come in short shallow gasps. A pain I instantly recognize as heartbreak, caused by the fact that all I've done since my father's death is crave love and affection.

And that is the reason why I sit in the arms of a stranger as he holds me on his lap, rocking me back and forth, allowing me to have this moment of release. Long before I even feel my tears starting to slow, he untucks my head from the crook of his neck and lifts my chin with his finger.

He strokes away the tears as he asks, "What your name? Are you Katniss, is that you're name?" and when I nod he smiles his dazzling heart stopping smile. "Beautiful name Katniss. Peeta Mellark at your service." He winks, erupting a small giggle out of me. When I look up at him again I can see his shocked expression, which quickly turns into a soft smile full of amazement and love.

"Would you get her a drink of water please Annie and get Finnick to get her a blanket, she needs to rest. I'll move her into the main room, we're closed now anyway." I look up at the clock on the wall and I'm shocked to see that I've been here for two and a half hours. I need to get home to Prim but no matter how much I want to go I can't move a muscle, I've gone completely limp. So all I do is close my eyes and snuggle in to the warmth of Peeta's large chest as he lifts me up and walks out of the female change room. Somewhere along the way I black out.

When I come to, I can hear people talking close to me. I try to open my eyes but soon realise that's a bad idea as my head flashes with pain. All I can remember is the horrible dream I was having, reliving the death of my father and the skipping forward to now as my mother runs a blade across my skin, slicing it. But I grind my teeth against my pounding head and open my eyes fully. Then it all came back to me as I stared at those green and white walls, the changing of my clothes and exposing my bruise covered underneath, the unveiling of my horrid secret, the crying, sobbing and just plain breaking down. And I did all of this in front of strangers, well not the changing clothes part. I can't help but be ashamed and regret what happened and even though I feel this way, for some reason I can't help but be happy-ish that I met the blue eyed boy name Peeta.

As I lay there and try to sort through my new situation, I listen to what those voices are saying.

"Shut up Johanna! We've got to be careful with her. Look, you guys don't understand what it's like to live like we do ok? And from the looks of her, the shit she goes through is heavy. You guys have always been here for me but we all know that I don't get hit and beaten every day but when it does happens it's horrible, right? Well imagine that she goes through that every single day and it may be even worse, we don't know. But did you see all those bruises, all those cuts and gashes? Their new and old.

"My friend Gale, Mrs Hawthorne's boy, lives next door to her and he says that her father died when she was nine, and ever since then Katniss seems so depressed and her mother was never really seen. But he swears it wasn't just grief from her father's death, it was something more, something heavier, and something he couldn't even begin to comprehend. So this is what she's been going through since she was nine. Do we know how old she is?" he paused to which I think everybody would have shook their heads.

"So we don't know how long this has been going for. And like I said she'll be extremely fragile, right now her soul is still that nine year old girl. She's probably feeling lost and scared, I mean doesn't even know any of us!" his voice keeps getting louder with his urgency and agitation and I'd wish he'd just stop. It's not like everything he just said isn't true, because it is, every single morsel that came flowing from his inviting, kissable lips is undeniably true. But it's because hearing it observed from a stranger hurts too much for me to bear. I must have made that choking sound I just did loud enough for them to hear, because they all turned around quickly and stared at me, their faces all masks of worry and sadness.

"It true, all of it. Every last thing. My mother hates me, my sisters too sad to give me any love, my father was killed by my…my despicable _mother_ when I was and nine and ever since then I've had to take on the role as the head of the family even though _she _beats me and cuts me and pushes me down stairs and makes me feel like dirt every day of my life. All I've ever wanted to feel was loved." I say the last bit so shakily I'm not sure they could understand me. I wipe away the tears the fall onto my cheeks, but it's useless since their only more come. "And to answer your question I'm almost eighteen. This has been happening for almost nine years. I get if you guys don't want to get involved, that's not why I came here. I came here to get this job so I could feed and clothe my sister, plus I need to pay for her school tuition and my online classes." I say shrugging like it's no big deal.

"But Katniss, when you came in earlier you looked so happy. I never would have guessed this was happening to you." Finnick says, and when I look at him, I mean _really_ look at him, I see such sympathy and compassion.

"I learned how to mask my pain from an early age; it only seemed to make her angrier." I confess, looking down at the ground and not being able to look into their eyes and see the pity I have no doubt lingers there. I could hear Annie gasp and I looked up to see Peeta's face so close to mine and I have to admit I like this boy, I mean _like _like him. He brushes away the tears with his thumb as smiles softly.

"It's not your fault, none of it is. Don't be ashamed to cry and show your emotions in front of us. If you ever need help you can come to me, I know what you're going through because I'm going through the same thing. How do you think I got this?" he asks, pointing to the bruise on his cheek. I peer closely at it and decide.

"Rolling pin, yep definitely a rolling pin. Are you a baker?" I ask, looking into his beautiful eyes so full of compassion.

"But how did you know?" His face is so surprised and bewildered that I might just laugh. Of in doing that would seriously wreck the whole sad situation. Well, maybe that's a good thing.

"Well for one you have burn marks on your hands and two your shirt has flour on it." I laugh and dust him off. My laughter cuts of when I see his smile, my insides welting and this strange feeling beginning in my gut. "And the thing with the rolling pin? As I said this has been happening for nine years, I guess I can tell what caused what." I said, shrugging and looking down.

"What made this?" Peeta asks as he runs his finger along the gash on my chest. Every one moves forward until there sitting on the ground  
next to Peeta and I.

"A knife, a butcher knife. And all these small little cuts? There from a razor blade." I look around at every one, but for some reason my gaze always comes to rest on Peeta.

"And what about these?" It's my bruises this time.

"Some of them are from fists, some from feet, boots, canes, chairs- yep even chairs- and some them are from various other objects like bricks." I whisper to him, making sure only he can hear.

{Authors Note: Hey everyone! since this is my first fanfic I though that I might bless ye with a double update! I hope that you guys enjoyed chapter 1, which is called Wake Up and Smell The Roses, and it only gets better- well i hope so any way. tell me what you think but please, please only give me cronstructive criticism. Oh and bountiful praise that is. Anyway, onto the story.}

**Chapter 2: Hello world, says my not-so-little secet**

"Oh Katniss, why haven't you told anyone? Actually don't answer that, I know why. What I mean to say is why do you trust me?" and he says is like he is so sure, so convinced that I trust him. And dammit, is he right.

"I don't know, I guess it's because you're the first person to comfort me since father was killed, I really do not know. Maybe it _is_ because of that, or maybe it's something else…" I gaze deeply into his eyes, letting all of my pain and suffering show, letting down all of my walls and letting my true emotions shine through. And seeing his features formed into one of surprise, what he saw there must have been truly sad.

"Why don't you come and stay with me? I recently moved into my new apartment and although I only got the bedroom and the kitchen stocked so far, I'm sure it'd be fine." He offered. This boy has to be the nicest person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me with such kindness after only just meeting me, and probably ever in my entire life. I mean I just met him, and under some pretty bad circumstances too, and here he is offering me an escape from my shitty life. All I want to do is take it but…

"What about Prim, my younger sister. I can't leave her and like you said you don't enough room. Oh my god, Prim, I've completely forgotten about her. And my lord, it's eleven at night! My mum should be home soon, if she isn't already. What am I going to do?" I start to freak out and I can feel my heart beat getting faster. _What if something bad has happened to her?_ I'll never forgive myself.

"Yes Katniss, what are you going to do?" and I can't believe who it is…


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hey everyone! This is a new update and I'm sorry you had to wait so long for it but I promise it's worth the wait. Well, I hope so anyway.**_

_** Holy cookies batman, she's promising cookies to anyone who reviews! **_

_**That's right Robin, well we'll just have to get in on this cookie action too. **_

_**Please review, it would really make my day! Okay on with the story, Robin!**_

* * *

******Chapter 3: The Hospital: Meeting Little-Miss-Bitchy**

"_Yes Katniss, what are you going to do?" and I can't believe who it is…_

Oh, my god! It's my…my mother! And she has Prim, her daughter who looks just like her, long blonde hair, pale skin and amazing blue eyes. Except my mother's eyes are hard and cold from years of doing evil.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her, immediately standing up and growing a back bone. I walk away from the others who look on, wondering who this lady is, and confront my mother.

"Well, I came home and big surprise you weren't there, again. I asked Prim if you'd gone hunting for more game, but your bow was still there. And yes, I know where you hide that filthy thing your father gave you. But little Primmy didn't answer me, not even after I tried to _help her out_ with it. Then eventually I got it out of her." I look down at Prim to see her red recently slapped cheeks and tear streaked face. The beginnings of a few bruises are forming on her arms and legs.

"What did you do to her?" I shout at my crazy assed mother, getting close up in her face. Since I'm taller than her I look down at her but that doesn't stop her from delivering the hard blow that she graces my face with. I fall to the ground and feel a teeth grinding pain in my arm from trying to catch my fall.

"You will not speak down at me like that!" she shouts back at me and kicks me in the face. Poor Prim cries out for me at the same moment I make a horrible moaning sound. I spit blood all over the nice clean floor. I've only just started to recovered when I see her bring her foot back. I close my eyes anticipating the pain I know so well, only to find in feels different. More painful than what I'm used to. And that's probably because instead of kicking me like I expected she's was actually reaching for the knife hidden in her boots. So the horrible, gut wrenching pain I'm feeling is actually her cutting across my cheeks, making a deep cut from the corner of my eye to my lips. I let out a blood-curdling scream so loud it seemed to bounce of the walls.

"Please, stop." Prim begs as I lay there sobbing, holding my knees to my chest as I lay on my side. And just as she is about is go for my other cheek, I see her look up and her face pales. I try to move my gaze to see what it is but instead my head kind of flops over to the side and I stare up into the faces of all of my recently acquired co-workers. Finnick, the head of employment and trainer, Annie, the receptionist and overseer, Peeta, I actually don't know what he does, and about five other people. All of them standing over us- besides Annie who is currently making a grab for Prim- glaring daggers at my mother so sharp I'm surprised she isn't shredded. I watch as Peeta brings back his fist and brings it down, making contact with her jaw before pulling away. Well, I've got to guess that'll knock her out cold. And that's exactly what it did.

Right now I could be rejoicing that my mother got what was coming to her, but I couldn't move. The knife she was holding must've slipped from her hands and is now currently being a pain in the ass as it slices through my flesh and stabs into my leg, making the world spin on its axis. I can't feel anything but pain, and this pain hurts so fucking bad that it is a numb pain. But that doesn't stop me from feeling it full force. Screams rip out of my throat before I can stop them and I clutch as the knife in my leg, trying to relieve the pain.

"Oh my god, make it stop! The pain, I can't take it anymore! Please just make it stop." I sob and beg them. I can hear Prim crying in the background saying, "she always takes it for me, why does she always take it for me. Just please make it stop," mirroring my own pleas for it to stop.

"Oh, shit Katniss. Get an ambulance on the phone! And can someone get me a towel? This isn't going to be pretty. Katniss, look at me. Look at me Katniss!" he doesn't stop until I finally open my tear filled eyes and look into his. "You're going to be fine. I'll even stay with you the whole entire time, but first you have to listen to me first. When the ambulance comes, I'm going to go with so I'll have to make up an excuse about being related to you or something and you're just going to have to go with it, ok? Good. And also I'm going to have to remove this knife. Now this might hurt just a little. Ok, I've got the towel, now on three. One…two…" and he doesn't even get to three before he's pulling that knife back out from my leg.

"You lying son of bitch, you said you'd do it on three. Ugh, you complete ass hat. And it hurts like fucking hell, not a fucking little. There's no such thing as diluted pain from hell, you bastard." I scream at him, but all he does is smirk and raise an eyebrow as if to say '_are you done yet_'.

"Huh, son of a bitch? Don't you know it, baby." He winks and laughs, which is totally in appropriate for such a situation. But I have to admit that him calling me baby awakened a strange feeling in my stomach. It felt like butterfly, fireworks and chocolate sprinkles all rolled into one. It makes me feel warm inside and I don't want it to stop.

So while he presses the towel against my leg to stop any bleeding, I whisper back, "Thanks for helping me Peeta. You're amazing." Then I became overcome with a veil of blackness.

I wake to a strange white room, is what I would be saying if I was in fact awake. But now that I think about it, it sounds kind of cheesy. All I can hear are voices and boy do I wish they would just shut up so I can get a good sleep session in. I haven't had a good night's rest in what seems like forever. I can barely make out wake they are saying but I think it's about me.

"Sir, I'm sorry but I can't give you any information. Only her closest kin." I hear a nasally horrible voice say. Now _that_ was one voice that I desperately wish would shut up. Seriously it's making my ears and head hurt more. But the next time a voice spoke, it seemed to sooth me.

"For your information, her closest kin is the reason she's in here. This is all her mother's fault. You can't call her father because he's dead and you really going to lay all of this onto a little girl? And anyway, I'm her boyfriend." Damn that voice sounded familiar. Now I'm not so sure they're talking about me, I don't have a boyfriend, do I?

"Oh, _you're _the boyfriend? _Her _boyfriend?" that horrid voice asked. Wow someone really needs to get that sorted out or I'm going to have a permanent headache.

"Yes, I'm Katniss's boyfriend. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I'm so sure I know that voice. It's not likely that you could forget a voice that yummy and velvety. Wait, what? I have a boyfriend?! Um, when was I going to get the memo?

"Lucky bitch." I heard that ugly voice whisper not so quietly. Ok, I need to check this out for myself.

It took me awhile to locate my eye muscles, but I eventually got them working. I feel my eyes flutter and the softness of my long lashes brushing my cheeks tickle me and I let out a small giggle. What the…? A giggle in this situation? Way to go me.

My eyes open to see the most bizarre scene before me. The walls looked like they were melting and instead of the hospital white like I expected, they were very nicely rainbow coloured. Peeta must have heard me, as his head snapped around to look at me and he graced me with one of his yummy smiles. _Man that guy is so delicious…_

Ok brain, don't want to go there. Not right now anyway. Peeta walked up to me and took my hand and lend in close to me to whisper in my ear. His hot breath swirled over my neck and cheeks, making me shiver with delight.

"Hey babes, how are you feeling?" he winked at me and I laughed. Can't he see what he looked like right now? If he did know than I doubt he would look so calm.

"Why are little birdies flying around you Peeta? Oh, I know you've turned into snow white!" he looked visibly taken back at that and it made me laugh harder.

"It must be the drugs we gave her to help with the pain. They tend to make the patients a bit loopy, but most of the time we just go with it." That nasally voiced nursed, who is now currently ogling Peeta, explained. Wow, thank you captain obvious!

"Ok, then. So Katniss what kind of birdies are they?" he asked me sweetly, drawing random patterns on my arm and hand.

"Oh, they're mockingjays of course. Silly Peeta, you should know that, they are talking." I said giggling when I didn't quite get my words out right. But he only chuckled.

"Mockingjays huh? Well, what are they saying? Come on, I want to know too!" he whined, sounding like a petulant five year old. Now that is just hilarious, seeing a grown man complaining about the fact that he can't hear the delusional little birdies, no matter how cute they are, talking to me.

"They're saying that the nurse is a bitch and that your face is up here!" I laughed, sounding for all I am like a crazy women. Peeta quietly chuckled and shook his head. He blushed and a small shy smile danced on his lips.

"Of course they are." He said quietly before looking up into my eyes. "Why don't you sleep now my princess?" he suggested, brushing a few stray hairs out of my eyes. Suddenly all of the craziness was gone and I was left staring into the most wonderful eyes I've ever seen. The deep blue eyes that made my heart do a funny dance and felt like they were seeing into my very soul.

"When I wake up, will you be here? You promise me you'll stay." I panicked, not wanting to be without his safety and security.

"I promise that I'll never leave your side, baby." He smiled sweetly at me. It wasn't what he said, but it was the way he said it and the way he looked at me when he did. This weird feeling is dancing in my stomach but I honestly don't know if I want it to stop, it feels so new and so exhilarating. Even with this strange sensation, I can feel my eyes drooping and I squeeze Peeta's hand.

"Thank you." Is all I say before I'm whisked away into a slumber full of Peeta.

When I start to wake up again- and don't me wrong I want to be awake, sort of. I mean the pain hurts so bad- I was having the best dream. It was me and Peeta and the feel of his luscious lips, all alone…

Ok, on second thought I may go back to sleep after all. But for some reason I can't. It feels as if someone is pulling me with a rope out of this safe and secure darkness. Damn you, stop it! It's nice in here, there's no pain.

"Katniss? Katniss, you've got to wake up now. Katniss come on its Peeta, some ones here to talk to you. " Oh, so it was this voice I have to blame and apparently it's Peeta. Well we'll see about that.

"Darn it Peeta, what the hell do you want? I'm trying to sleep, so if you don't mind…" I grumble at him, but I still have my eyes closed as make a reach to swat him. And with the quiet "ouch" I hear, I got him good.

"Come one, Katniss. Your awake anyway, just open your eyes. Please?" Darn it when he uses a voice like that, all sweet and spicy, how can I resist him?

"Oh, fine but there better be chocolate nearby when I have to look in a mirror." I warn him, and oh it better be good chocolate too. I open my eyes to stare into Peetas, his face so close to mine. I can feel the breath rolling over my face and it smells like cinnamon and homemade apple pie. The strange tumble turning feeling is back and I have to admit to myself that, well I think I like this boy.

"Hey." And when he smiles, his whole face just lights up like a kids on Christmas. _Wow, definitely worth waking up for_. "Well, glad you think so." He chuckles and blushes.

OMG, did I just say that out loud?

"Yes, you did in fact say that out loud. Not that I'm complaining." He winks at me as I feel my cheeks start to heat up with embarrassment. I give him a small smile as I look up through my lashes and I hear his intake of breath. I watch numbly as his head lowers towards mine, lips parted and oh so inviting. The clearing of someone's voice brought both of us to reality. Peeta pulled back slowly, his face flushed and with a knowing grin on his mouth. I blushed and hid my face in my pillow, giggling quietly like a school girl.

"Uh, hello Miss Everdeen, my name is Plutchard Heavensbee and I would like to ask you some questions regarding the situation with your mother." Oh, great now I'm just going to have to relive all of the bad things right up to this point. I start to get this panicky feeing rising in my chest and my eyes flit around the room looking for an escape.

That is until Peeta kissed my palmed and rested his chin on our entwined hands with a small shy smile.

_I definitely like this boy. _


	4. Chapter 4: Addiction

**A/N: Hello everyone! So, so, so, so sorry that I've taken so long to update. Just been so busy with exams and studying and holiday-ing. I'll try to do better for you all…* insert pouty face*…and I hope you enjoy the chapter that would just not end.**

So I met this amazing boy and I don't know what to do. Do I trust him and fall in love, or do I ignore the fluttering feeling I have every time he looks at me? Oh, I'm so confused. I know I like him and I think he likes me too but we've literally just met. But I guess under these circumstances it feels like so much longer and I do feel like I can trust him. All I've ever wanted was to feel loved and I think I can get it from him. He's so kind and of course of I'm taking about Peeta Mellark. Damn if he isn't something yummy to look at and if I'm honest with myself, I want to love him.

This dream I am having is crazy and if you ask me, not totally unwanted. It starts out so great with just me and Peeta alone in the hospital. I close my eyes for one second and I can feel this glorious feeling. As I open them I stare into the blue orbs of Peeta with his lips pressed to mine.

"Oh, sorry! I…I just…was, um…" He stutters when he lifts the sweet pressure of my lips. Holy crap this is real, not a fucking dream! I felt like screaming at him and breaking into a victory dance at the same time. I was just about to do the latter when this sweet little blush broke out across his cheeks. He looks different when he blushes. He looks adorable and cute and just plain gorgeous. I raised my limp hand of the crinkly white hospital bed and brushed my fingertips across his cheek, tracing the line his blush makes. His eyes widened in surprise before he leans into my touch. It is a weird sensation when what you picture in your mind turns out to be so exact. I've been dreaming of this.

Peeta leant forward towards me; his head lowering and his sweet soft lips getting ever so close to mine. Right at that moment the bitchy nurse decides to burst in with Annie following close behind.

"Sorry to intrude but it's time for your check-up. Oh and by the way my names Glimmer. " The nurse said as she flips her annoying blonde hair over her shoulder and her voice! Someone kill me now it's hurting my head. Yeah because you totally burst into the room like some kind of high squirrel for a "check-up". Do we look like our thumbs are glued to our heads, or what? I could feel my cheeks heat up as Annie stared at as, our lips still close to each other.

"Um, guys? One question, what's going on here?" she asks us as she looks back and forth between us. You know how meerkats do that thing with their head as they look around and back and forth? Well, it looked just like that. I couldn't help myself, and I burst into the biggest fit of giggles I think I've ever had. It feels so amazing to just laugh! My heart is soaring just from this simple act that everyone conducts on a daily basis. It feels strange too and I'm really not sure what to think.

Meanwhile the look Annie is giving me pretty much shows how she feels. You know what I say, to hell with it. I can't believe she is giving me a look because I am laughing! At least Peeta doesn't seem to think it's strange because he merrily joins in. I stop laughing as I hear the musical song that is pouring from his lips. The look in his eyes makes me want to melt and in fact that's not a bad idea. I smile at him and the smile I get back warms my heart. The look in his eyes makes me feel undeniably beautiful. Stop it Katniss, what are you doing? How long have you known this man, two days (I think so anyway) so why are you looking at him as he hung the moon? Have some dignity. Unfortunately my brain obviously didn't get the memo that my dignity tried to run away but slipped on a banana peel and broke its neck a long time ago. _Get with the times, brain! _My hesitation mustn't have been missed as the cutest little frown appears above his head. _Darn it, stop with the fuzziness._

"Nothing." He mutters, quite obviously looking anywhere but me I might add. God, I want to say grow up but I'm…kinda….doing it too. I feel really bad right now and I can't even blame the medicine because I haven't had a dose in a while. Speaking of medicine what the hell happened the last time I had it. All I remember is fuzziness and then BAM! Right in the kisser, literally (kisser and all).

"Peeta, what happened last night?" I ask him; well I assume it was last night anyway.

"Well, let me assure you it was nothing less than perfectly hilarious. I mean, Annie really it was so funny you just had to be there. When she woke the first time she was saying there were little birdies flying around her head and that they were talking to her." He laughed hard and he seemed relieved to be able to laugh after what's happened. Hell, I would have been too. But as soon as it starts it stops and he get the cutest little frown again. "I just wish she didn't have to talk to those police sergeants. I'm sorry you had to do that babes." He speaks so softly that I find his gentle voice lulling me to sleep. I fight to keep my eyelids open because I don't want to deny myself any possible second I could have with Peeta. Annie as it seems had different ideas on the subject. She raised an eyebrow and gave us both a withering stare.

"Ok, seriously what's going on with you two? And don't say nothing because I can obviously see that's not it. First the…honestly I don't know what was happening when I walked in, then and little smiles and laughs and pretty little giggles, and now this? I mean it's like you are guys are…OMG, are you guys dating? I totally knew something was happening. How long has this been going on for? Did you set her up for the job? Why didn't I know? Man you never tell me things!" And that, my friends, is the perfect example of a caffeinated squirrel. I have to admit I only understood half of what she said and it went pretty much like this "hkab cosbfbz konds knwsncnbksi." Nonsense, right? I thought so too.

"Mr. Mellark tells me he is Katniss's boyfriend and we will be reporting all of her updates and care information to him as required." Holy shit, that nurse is still here? Well, either she's spider man or I'm still high of the pain medication.

"I'd say you're still high. Oh and when are you going to stop talking out loud? I'm surprised you don't wake yourself up at night with the way you ramble on." Peeta says with, what would you call it? Oh yeah, a shit eating grin.

"Omg, I sleep talk? Peeta Mellark you tell me what I said this instance!" I demand but before he has the chance to make any words come from his open mouth, Annie cuts in.

"Hello, what about me? And don't you dare break into a song right now Peeta, I mean it. I asked you something, mainly regarding _what the_ _hell is going on?_" Well she could have just asked nicely I think and Peeta says so. Hmmm, great minds think alike I see.

"Don't you dare sass me Peeta." She adds after his statement.

"Look Annie, just give me and Peeta a moment and I'll tell you ok? You too nurse what's-your-name." well, if she can't tell I'm getting frustrated…

"It's Connie. Connie Snow." She says and I roll my eyes at her. Well a seriously stupid name to suit her seriously stupid voice and look.

"Yeah, I think you suited what's-your-name better. Now I'm pretty sure that indignant tone doesn't get you anywhere now does it Connie? You probably think I'll never be where you are today, a nurse and all. You're probably right but do you know why, Connie? It's because my own god damn mother decided to murder my nice unsuspecting father and bury him in the woods, or maybe she dumbed him in a lake. What do you think? Well, I think that one day when I'm not being beaten into the near stages of death for something I didn't even do by the very person who brought me into this life, I'll find my father buried in the cold hard ground with his face rotten and gone while I'm out hunting for game so I can keep my little sister and me alive. How does that sound Connie, is that a good enough reason why I won't be where you are today or do you need to hear more because I can go on all day if you want me to?" I didn't yell at her but I guess (well, I know) that the low, freezing cold voice I've recently adopted should scare her more. But this girl obviously has no sense because she just laughs and comes to read my chart.

"Oh, the effects of your most recent medication dose must be lingering. You silly little thing, you just close those little eyes of yours and rest away your sleepy head." And she actually had the audacity to speak to me like a child, no a baby, no a slow baby that is half deaf. I just know that my face is hot, I can feel it, and that I look like the deliverer of her death right now. Everyone else is just shocked. I go to remove all the wires and shit hanging out of me and I after that I plan to lunge at her and show her who she is really talking to but for some unknown, foreign reason Peeta stops me. He gets up to stand, more like tower, over the small nurse and says in a very more deadly than death himself,

"Are you really that naïve? Do you think that she would make something like that up just to put you in your place? I think you should get out that door now before I put you out myself." His voice had risen and by the end of his speech and oh boy was he intimidating. But not to me, no to me he was wonderful and strong and defensive of me, although the last of which had me seriously confused as to why he would be. He's obviously intimidated _her_ though because underneath all that fake tan and bleach blonde hair she pales (at least I think so) considerably. She turns to stare at me and a look of horror overcomes her face and I just stare at her. I just don't have the capacity to do much more than that. I've gone into overdrive and I'm feeling numb. She scurries out of the room and never lets her eyes drift so much as an inch from me. Honestly, I feel like a freak. A moment passed before one of us dared to speak, and that brave person was Peeta.

"Annie will you please excuse us for a second? I need a moment with Katniss." He says stiffly barely containing all of his pent up emotion. Annie at least is smart enough to see this and walks slowly backwards out of the room all the while looking straight into my eyes, saying "_if you need anything, just yell…"_ when she finally closes the door behind her, Peeta lets out a gust of air and unceremoniously collapses into the chair next to my bed. I'm a little hesitant to be around him because, well duh, I just saw him as a terrifying big giant and yet I can't bring myself to be afraid of him. There's that weird feeling in my stomach again and I think I might be coming down with something. I try to catch his gaze but he won't look at me.

"Peeta, are you ok?" I tentatively reach out a hand towards him. He just stares at it for the longest time before he suddenly clasps it tightly in his own.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, but I just couldn't help myself. When I'm around you I do things without thinking and it makes me so confused." He sighs and rests his chin on our entwined hands. "Like this, I would never do this with anyone. I never let anyone touch me and yet here I am, holding onto you like you're my life line. And every time I look at you, even if you're sleeping, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. All I can ever think about is how beautiful you are and how I could never hurt you, even if I actually wanted to. You're just too sweet for me to even try to get you out of my head. I could say you're an addiction to me but I think it goes more along the lines of you being a goddess." Well, that is weird because I'm feeling the same. What do I do now? Am I supposed to tell him I'm getting the feeling too or do I just stay silent and keep staring at him? It looks like it's the latter because all I do is sit there will my mouth glued shut. He keeps looking at me as if he expects something, like some kind of answer but I honestly don't know what to do. I'm just so confused.

He searches my eyes for a little while longer but he eventually gives up. He give a sad little sigh that about breaks my heart and he gets up to leave.

"Don't worry about it, just forget I said anything." He turns to go but my hand shoots out to grab his wrist to stop him from going. I stare at my hand surprised because _why in the hell_…

"Please don't go." I plead looking into his deep blue eyes. It looks as though he's trying to resist something but after a while he sighs in defeat and sits down on the bed, facing away from me I might add.

"You don't understand, Peeta. I don't want to forget because that is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. And yes Peeta, it is romance because from the sound of it looks as if you feel the same way I do. How long have I known you for Peeta?" I ask him, begging him with my eyes to play along.

"Well you see, about that. If you don't count the week since the incident at the gym," a week? Hmm, isn't that food for thought, "you could say _I've_ known you since the first day of school. You had your hair in two long braids and when you sang in music class, the birds stopped just listen to you and I knew that from that on I'd always want you for my own." His voice is so soft and it wraps around me like a warm security blanket, all cuddly like. The fact that the gorgeous man has wanted me for so long is so unthinkable that it's absurd.

"You can't possibly mean that. I'm nothing but damaged property, just a broken girl that everyone stares at like a freak." I shook my head sadly and kept my gaze on the itchy blanket covering me until I feel his fingers lightly bringing my chin up. He smiles sweetly at me and leans in to brush a kiss over my lips. My breath hitched and my eyes stayed wide open.

"Does that answer your question?" he asks, pausing to run little kisses all over my lips. I try to speak to him but in the end all I really can do is nod. His smile is plainly one of victory and he leans back in to give me a proper kiss.


End file.
